Eating The Scourge In My Room
I looked at a photo of my partner and suddenly had multiple different negative thoughts about them and if I would care if they died. It didn't sound like my thoughts at all, and as I had that thought, I looked more broadly at my monitor and noticed a slight shift in what it looked like, in a way that suggested a curse being there. I still can't see properly, but things like that happen anyway.
As a song played that really draws forward a sense of depth in my emotions, I began to build up a bit of energy, and then do a dance of sorts. Moving my arms around in ways that felt cleansing and pure, and I pulled forth the feelings of joy and love I had felt recently and put them to use in this dance. I pushed and mixed this love and joy around in my room, in a way I think is deadly to curses (because of a dream I will write about soon-ish). Also, I think that positive and negative energies and things are both good, but I prefer having a higher ratio of positive things in my room.
Anyway, I conjured wings of some sort, and used them to help guide this energy throughout the room. As the song came close to its end and I felt a purity in the room began to shine, I gathered all that was brought up and held it in my hand. Then I realized I hadn't cleansed myself in any sort of way, so I used a conjured hand to push it out of me and I held that in my other hand. I put them together and noticed that what I had gathered was sticky and slimy, so I cleaned my left hand with fire, made a ball, and put the rest of what I had gathered into a ball.
After thinking a little bit about it, I thought about how this stuff was concentrated here because of what I have been doing to curses, and the buildup of energy from me, and I decided to eat it. It's sort of scary to think about eating something so negative, but if my physical body can turn fast food into something useful to me, surely my more energetic body can do the same with the scourge left in my room. It feels a bit sour in a way, but I'm not sure how much of that is me remembering what Geto from JJK said about eating curses, or me really feeling a sour feeling from what I ate. Anyway, it's gonna get processed and the useful bits will be taken up, and the not useful bits will hopefully be cleaned up a bit so that when it returns to the rest of the world it has a nicer impact on it. Also this is at four in the morning because I have the schedule of somebody who doesn't have a schedule and prefers the time of day that isn't overwhelmingly hot and awful (this was posted later because I wasn't sure on the wording but was too tired to figure it out).
Coming back to this the next day (or well, the same day but I slept), I have noticed a slight positive shift in how I feel and I think I'm acting in a slightly more positive way as well, but it's also a reasonable temperature today so that might be it. I haven't noticed any sour feelings in my belly or anywhere from eating that stuff, so it must be fine. Also, it felt weird to eat something without being able to see it or really feel it, and it was for sure cringe to put it simply.
Oh, and one final thing. I am still working on getting those notes out, but it'll be a little longer. Might get them out later today, but it seems unlikely I will based on my level of motivation.
